Trust me, your single mom has the answer.

African-American Mom and her toddler son are taking a selfie in the front seat of a vehivle. Smiles all around
Photo by Kampus Production/Pexels

Raising a boy to be a man, obviously has specific strategies and its ups and downs. But can it be done? Of course, it has been done every day. Some all alone, some with mentors, other positive male figures, etc.

As a single mother of a son and a daughter, I believe even more that my son deserves appropriate make figures in his life.

Being raised in a two-parent home, more of my choices of how I raise my son is what I have seen my dad and other respectful and responsible men/fathers have done. All of this is new but doable because my heart was in the right place.

Just a few important issues when preparing my son for manhood?

  • His job is to provide and protect when he becomes a man. Right now, my job is to care for and protect him, in hopes that he will also how important receiving that care from another woman.
  • I teach my son those small yet vital concepts of care about himself and what he deserves because if he isn’t whole, he won’t be an asset to others.
  • The respectful (and protective) holding the door for girls and women is one of the next things I expect from my son. Making sure we are taken care of.
  • Does she need anything? Is she carrying something that you can help with? Make sure you ask. Are you waiting on her to come from the car? Although these may seem clique, it reminds our sons that it is a responsibility of his to protect.

Of course, the above are minimally what I will teach and model for my son as he grows up.

Providing for himself and his family will be key. As I learned from my dad, it was his responsibility to take care of the household and the family. Everything my mom contributed to us would be extra. I believe that and teach that to both my children.

I’m teaching my son that what his wife contributes will be extra. Of course, they will have these conversations while dating if they deem each other a future mate.

In addition, am teaching him to have discernment when choosing a mate. Know the signs of kindness, ambition, care, etc.

He will be taught how to know when someone genuinely cares about or loves him as well he will be to her. Some have these traits and others don’t. Know what you want and move accordingly.

He, like anyone else, will learn as he goes as an adult, but these conversations with him will definitely be had.

Photo by Jonathan Portillo/Pexels

Just because I am clear about the fact that boys need to make connections, he has been in mentoring programs where African-American men were involved, which is beneficial.

Not only is there a direct relation to the cultural experience, but black boys and men also have a totally different set of daily life experiences in this world and need to know how to manage safely in a world that holds them to a different standard.

Black men grow and are seen in the world is totally different. Those differences are imperative to his life. I will constantly remind my son that he is more than capable in this world.


This is just the beginning of what I will be teaching and learning as I guide my son. Don’t worry, appropriate males are in his life so that what I am not the best at teaching a boy, he still will receive. If you are still a bit skeptical, just ask your single mom and see what she says.

Tiffany Jasper
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