If He Has A Chance With You, Let Him Know, And Here’s Why

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On a typical day at the grocery or retail store, I always end up chatting with another customer, sometimes women but usually a man. 

Not intentional, it just happens. I just have one of those personalities. It’s just conversation, a joke or two, you know, while we are there. Nothing more.

If he is someone I would enjoy getting to know, I always wonder what’s best. Maybe I should be direct and signal him that I am interested in knowing him better. Should I just used non-verbal that will give him a hint (direct eye contact, smile, etc.) or a joke or two.

For a long time, I have wondered why for me, is just the conversation with the men, but nothing more. Most times it doesn’t go further.

I’m always presentable, easy to connect with and talk to. It is so true that I am not some random chick.

Now, let me be clear, those times when I was blunt but tactful, men would respond. But I just didn’t want to always be the one speaking up.

However, if I receive attention from a guy over the last (very long time), it’s usually some off-the-wall request to be a “friend” or a whack line after he seemed to have fooled me with a decent conversation.

Am I giving off that side-chick type of vibe?

Totally not. So for a decent amount of time, I had stopped being the one to start any conversations, even though that is my jam. It was even suggested that certain women attract a certain type of man.

I found that to be odd because at no time do I give vibes to be anyone’s side chick or just to meet up. I still wonder why I had been approached in this manner. I believe some men just try an angle to see if it will stick.

Now that years have gone by, dated a few more men and found that they seem to be on a different level than I am. I wanted to begin a different approach.

It is never a challenge to allow men to strike up a conversation with me. I’m easy to approach and I enjoy meeting new people.

So, here I am, give the non-verbal in hopes he sees my quiet signals and….crickets.

I’m still thinking that, hell, maybe they just aren’t into me. If they are, they will speak up.

But here is my take on it now…

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris

We all have our preferences and many of my physical traits may not be what dudes are in search of: natural hair, browner skin tone, thick in the middle, glasses when necessary, you know, all of the beautiful things.

Of course, we like what we like, and thank goodness I am okay with me, inside and out.

However, I recently had a conversation with a good friend that had me realize (which I have come to terms with) that most men are looking for the ultimate.

I mean the Coke-bottle shape, lighter skin tones, long hair (theirs or purchased), etc. Remember, I am speaking of my experiences.

The best choice is to let him know you’re interested. Here are 3 reasons why:

1). I have recently decided to end having the blinders on while out and about. I have come to realize that I should be giving men the notion that I am interested. Other than that, how Ill they know? 

I don’t picture a wedding or a ring viewing men and planning a wedding when I am speaking to you.

I’m just saying hello, and if you are someone I want to know, I may keep chatting with you, so why not? Now if it goes further, maybe go on a date and I want to oblige, I will and it is a win-win.

2). I truly believe that because we are all human, men are a bit nervous to approach some women probably almost as much as women wonder if he will shoot his shot with her.

I can appreciate that. It turns me off anytime I hear men brag about how they just pick up women in an instance as if we fall to their feet as soon as they inhale for the day.

I have experienced in my random conversations with men that they seem to enjoy someone reaching out to them with something kind, intriguing or funny thing to say. That smile, most even appreciate.

We don’t have to be so serious and straight to the “can I have your number” line. Just live a little while you’re chatting to even see if you want to continue the connection.

3). Men may just appreciate your confidence! It takes confidence to begin conversations with men hoping it would give them a hint that you are interested without being totally direct.

I usually use jokes or gentle sarcasm. Most men seem to enjoy that you are not a steady question box. I am sure they want variety while you’re talking.

Not quite ready to be direct with men; maybe I will get there at some point. I promise (note to self). However, the plan is to keep engaging, keep conversing, and giving positive vibes in hopes I meet someone who is a great someone.


I am so excited about my newfound plan of living as it pertains to outwardly showing interest in the men I meet. Not sure how easy it will be, but it will definitely give me a sense of growth in this area. We will see what happens.

Ladies, how do you let men know that they can surely shoot their shot?

How do you prefer a woman to let you know that she is interested in you? (non-verbal, verbals, etc)

I can’t wait to hear…

Tiffany Jasper
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