Generational Curses Begin With Yelling At Your Kids

Caucasian woman yelling as she is wrapped in
Photo by Morgan Basham/Unsplash

Generational curses can be one of the saddest experiences which are to hear a mom yelling at their kids.

The deeply disturbing part was that it was hurtful words and they began their child’s day. That next-level kind of yelling even broke my spirit.

Believe it or not, and some of you can attest to this, some teachers have this same weird thought process that yelling at their kids (students) or even using an unkind tone is what students need to be productive. 

Yep, I have brought this mess to the surface.

Now, parents, you should know better.

I would always think, How is all of that necessary?

Why are some of us so comfortable with yelling at our children? Where is this coming from? Possibly lack or even trauma on the side of the parent.

Then I would think about the child’s day. On the way to school or even once they get to school, there are so many other issues that will come up.

There are lists of expectations of a typical school routine. Having to function in each class and friend group is waiting on them to arrive daily.

Many times, the friends are who make the days the happiest.

The Generational Curse

Being raised including being yelled at and spoken to in mean tones and with mean words can begin the generational course.

That way of speaking to children being mirrored to the next generation continues the hurt. More than some may think, most children repeat cycles they are accustomed to.

I am not naive enough to believe that there are children who live in this environment who grow to be adults who are more gentle, encouraging, and kind with their words. And thank goodness for that.

Unfortunately, this curse is perpetuated (or further perpetuated) for students who are subjected to negative and unkind words or tones in the classroom.

Ending this type of negative and unnecessary communication

A lot of my thoughts became real when I became a mother, then a teacher, and them both within the home. This issue was at the forefront with me once in the classroom.

I made a decision and conscious effort to treat my students with the best kindness and respect.

This notion is more about me understanding that they have more going on than what my classroom structure involves.

My classwork, homework, etc. may not be their priority although, as a teacher, it should be mine. It is, but time and delivery are everything.

For those reasons and others, in the classroom, I chose to have a more free movement and self-management environment.

I made sure it was welcoming yet an environment to collaborate, learn and explore. Students were taught to take care of their responsibilities while respecting and helping others.

During these times, they didn’t need to ask me to do every single thing.

They knew what to do and when it was appropriate.

If they need a moment to themselves, they would give me an agreed hand gesture that they need to sit on the bean bags while they worked or for a moment to pull it together.

Boy in hoodie. Only from his nose to his waste.
Photo by Mauricio Mascaro/Pexels

They were praised for advancements and for those who were not advancing as often or not at all, we spoke candidly about a plan that would encourage and eventually begin their forward momentum.

What they wore or if they were hungry weren’t an issue (unless it was a violation) and to be honest, that was relative.

So no, my kids were not reprimanded for wearing the infamous hoodie. Lord, that craziness is a whole other article that is needed to be written and dismantled.


We must end the generational curses.

All of these daily interactions have a direct effect on kids’ future behaviors and more than not, how they will hopefully care for their next generations or those they may care for.

Since parent(s) are our child(ren)’s first teacher and connection, it is more significant than we give credit it for.

We have a big job; eliminating this generational curse.

Whether we know it or not, every moment we are with children, we have the blessed and ultimate opportunity to offer kindness and a positive environment where they feel acceptance and a sense of positive identity.

This may be the life-saving change they need to see.

How are you contributing to eliminating generational curses? Of course, we know there is various access to resources that will alter responses for each person. Perspective matters.




Tiffany Jasper
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